Finding the right person to write your letter of recommendation

August 10, 2012

For most high school students, college applications will be the first time they have to request a letter of recommendation. While adults have done so a lot - for education, internships, jobs, grants - it's easy to forget how intimidating it can be for a first-timer.

Intimidation is only the half of it too. As a high school student, how do you decide who to approach when asking for a letter, and what happens if you don't like the one you're given - assuming you're even given the chance to read it.

If any of these concerns apply to you, take a deep breath and don't worry about a thing. Consider a few of these tips.

1. Ask early. If you're starting early, you're doing the right thing. Teachers especially get flushed with requests around December or January each year, and they're much more likely to put some extra effort and originality into yours if you're prompt about it.

2. Ask someone who knows you well. Not a teacher you've only had for several months your senior year and not the boss at your job with whom you've never exchanged more than a few words. If someone doesn't know you, it will come across in his or her writing, and that's worse than fielding a refusal.

3. Ask in person. The prospect of asking an adult to write a full page about how great you are must seem like one of the strangest and most uncomfortable things you've ever done or will do, but don't give in to shyness and make the request via email. Asking in person takes some guts, but your letter writer will appreciate the gesture.

4. Don't ask to read it. Some writers may let you glance over the letter before it's sealed, others won't. Don't ask to see it though - what the writer has put down is his or her prerogative. However, this is a great reason to be sure you know and trust your letter writer to put together something exceptional.

5. Stay in touch. Sure, your writer may have composed anywhere from ten to a hundred other recommendations, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't stay in touch. Show your thanks and let him or her know what kind of doors that letter opened for you. Who knows - another letter may come in handy for scholarship opportunities down the line!

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